I last asked myself these questions when turning 23. As 25 is a quarter of life, if one gets to live to 100, I decided to bring it back round.
What have I learned in this past year?
My happiness and my mental health are important. If I'm in a situation where those two things are lagging behind and being discounted, I have the obligation to myself to change my surroundings. I really actually learned that when I was 23 but the feeling has become stronger as I've been 24.
I was going to go to Australia this year and turn 25 in Australia. I was very excited to take charge of my life and travel and live a different life in a different country. Obviously, things didn't turn out as planned, however, I'm proud of myself. I'm really proud that I was taking charge and changing my situation when I was slipping into a difficult mental state. I realize that I have the privilege to change my surroundings when I'm upset or unhappy and so many others don't. So because I can, I was.
In these COVID-19 times, which have taken up a lot of my year of being 24, I have been feeling really grateful. I live with my parents (and I know there's a stigma of that, but you can keep that BS to yourself). I live next door to my grandparents. I get to see as an adult the human parts of my parents. Not like when I was younger, they weren't human. But I think when you are younger, either your parents are your heroes or they're your enemies and they "don't know what it's like to be young." Everything is so black and white when you are a kid. As an adult, it's been nice getting to know my parents with all their quirks and even their flaws. When I'm older and living somewhere else, I want to look back on these times with my parents and remember that I had it good.
And again, in these COVID-19 times, I'm paying extra attention to my mental health. I'm realizing things that I struggle with and am trying to get in a routine of self care. I'm getting to know myself more. I'm realizing my faults, triggers, and my strengths. And I want to continue to do so at every age.
What are my goals for this next year?
So much of this time is unknown - in general and in COVID-19 times. I don't know what next year will hold. But in all honesty, I was saying that before coronavirus entered our lives. I don't know where I'll be - if we get a vaccine and I'm off in Australia or I'm still in lockdown at home. I don't know if I'll still be freelancing or if I'll have gotten a full-time job. I don't know if I'll be single or with a partner. I just don't know.
And for the first time in my life, I'm okay with not knowing. I think most of us like control. We like to be in control of every aspect of our lives. There comes a time when you have to realize that not everything goes to plan.
So, what are my goals for this next year? Keep putting my mental health first. Maybe get a therapist, everyone needs one of those. Read some more books, maybe like 20 more. Keep in touch with those you love - I know it's sometimes hard. Fight for change.
Everything I'm listing is pretty vague, but I just don't know. I guess my goal for this next year is to be okay with not knowing and striving to be better everyday.
Here are some pics of me from this past year: